Same Love

So I was listening to Chart Show and ‘Same Love’ by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis came on. I wouldn’t say I love the song, I’d rather it had more actual singing in it, but I like it, and I can’t stop listening to it now, so I’m growing to love it. The words though and the video, it’s amazing, the fact that someone has written a song about it people being homosexual, and putting it out there, I really admire him for doing that.

People really do over use the word gay so much, and there are so many stereotypes. Yes some of the stereotypes are correct, but not for all people. So many people go around saying ‘ahh that’s gaaaay!’ or ‘omg, you’re so gaaay’ like an insult. But it’s wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, so it’s not an insult.

If you really look at the lyrics, it’s all true.

“It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!”

“I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it”

People are scared of difference, of being different. Our society doesn’t know how to deal with people who are different, just like they are rude to bigger people, to smaller people, to people will a different skin colour or nationality. It’s sad really because all human’s are supposed to be equal, but are we? If you really think about it. Are we equal? Are the popular kids equal to the nerds, they’re supposed to be and in some people’s eyes they are, but according to our society, do people actually think everyone is equal? When you go past a homeless person on the street, do you think they’re equal to you? I applaud you if you do, but you’re in the minority. However much they say or like to think that they think everyone is equal, people judge people everyday and anyone who is different to themselves, apparently they’re not equal. In nearly everyone’s deepest thoughts, I’m sure they could think of someone who they didn’t think was equal to themselves. See, this is what our society has done to us. It’s turned us against people who are different, made us think that certain people are not equal to us, but they are, we’re all humans, on this planet, all our ancestors and ourselves have fought for survival, we’ve earned our place in society. Really hating to quote my mum here but she always says ‘We all come into this world the same way, and we all leave the same way, and what’s important is on the inside, not the outside’, she’s right.

“A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are”

That part of the lyrics really got to me because, although it’s just in a song, it’s actually really true. People are so unhappy with they’re lives because of other people, so many people, not just homosexual people or people from different cultures. It’s not fair that other people can dictate how happy someones life is, it shouldn’t happen but it does.

I could go on forever, because one I’m very opinionated, two things like this really get to me and three, I ramble all the time, but I’m going to stop now and leave you to think about this for yourselves, think about where you stand on all of this. And to help, I will leave you with the lyrics to the song and a link to the video. I hope it makes you think as much as it made me think.

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay,
‘Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight.
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k, trippin’ ”
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head.
I remember doing the math like, “Yeah, I’m good at little league”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
“Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for ’em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it

(I don’t know)

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

We press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
Till the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking ’round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up… sex

And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
(not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind
(I’m not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient
Love is kind

Death.

So I haven’t posted in a while…yeah sorry but…that’s the kind of person I am. Rude isn’t it?

So I’ve just spent the day with Mia, had a lovely time, came home, helped my granddad with his new laptop, got stressed. So I have to make this short as I’m going back to country land today but it’s just something, a quick thought.

My summer holidays have been amazing so far. Had a lovely day today. Then I logged onto facebook and saw that my friend, well I don’t know him that that well but his dad, had died yesterday. I don’t know why but it really got to me and made me think. I mean, my next door neighbour Jack’s mum died around this time a year ago, well just before the summer holidays and now George’s dad this summer holidays. It’s unfair at anytime that people die, get their life taken away from them too early. It’s hard at any time but the summer holidays, I mean, come ON.

I don’t know if I’ll go through with this but I plan to do as much as I can this summer holidays and have as much fun as possible because, well, death comes too early for so many people. It’s just not fair. But that’s life. There’s nothing I can do about it. So I’m going to enjoy the best time of my year as much as I can, do whatever I want and just…well not survive, live. Live in the moment, do what I want, have fun and just be me because there will never be another me and in 100 years, no one will remember me, so it doesn’t matter anyways.

So yeah…kind of sad, kind of happy post.
Enjoy your summer everyone.
And LIVE. Don’t just survive.

The Future

No storytime Tuesday this week, there hasn’t been storytime Tuesday for a while, but that is just because I am a rubbish human. So no storytime, but a thought, something that just came over me.

I’m 14. My whole life I have been asked the question ‘What do you want to be when you’re older?’, so many times, by so many people. Even at the age of 10, you give serious thought to what you want to be, what you want to do. At 5, you draw pictures of ‘When I’m older’. My whole life has been based on thinking about the future. From the moment I started school I was told I needed to do well, so I could get a good job, have a nice house, provide for my family and then what? Die? There always seems to be something else that I need to do. Admittedly, my parents do say ‘as long as your happy’, but they still want me to do well at school. For my GCSE’s I am predicted A’s and A*’s, I’ve worked hard, I’ve thought about what I want to do, what I want to be, my future. My whole life has been based on the future. I planned, thought about the consequences of things, behaved, tried never to get into trouble, did as I was told, thought before I acted, all because of what effect it would have on the future. The thing is now, now my brains confused, it’s telling me so many different things. I want to do well in my GCSE’s, I want to have a good future, but I’m tired of thinking of the future, I’m tired of trying hard so I get good GCSE’s so I can get a good job and so on. I just want everything to stop for a minute. I know I need to revise, to do more work than what just keeps me where I am and what I need to do, but I don’t want to anymore. I want to do something new everyday, something that surprises me, something risky. Because at the rate I’m going, I’m going to revise, work, revise, plan, think, revise and before I know it, I’ll be leaving school, and going into the world of work and my childhood will be over. I want to go out with my friends all the time, I want to have parties, just because they’re fun, I want to do whatever I want and not think about the consequences. But am I just being selfish? Probably. I mean so many people have it harder than me, my ancestors for one. I know we have to work to succeed, but really, all we’re doing is dying. We don’t know whats going to happen after we die and whether we’re earning £100,000 a year or £10,000 a year it’s not going to matter once we’re dead. When I’m old, what would I rather say to my grandchildren? ‘Oh yes, I earnt a lot of money and got this nice house’ or ‘I travelled the world, worked in so many different places, volunteered, helped people’? I think the latter, I’d rather have the stories than the money, but then, you need money to have the stories. You need money to travel the world, you need money for everything these days. Even if you just volunteered in England for the rest of your life, well you wouldn’t be able to do that because then you’d have no money to live on. This post is jumping here there and everywhere and I’m sorry, I just need to get this all out.

I’ve tried, behaved, thought, planned and everything. But now, when it matters, when I actually need to start thinking about what I want to do and to try harder than I ever have, I don’t want to anymore. I’m fed up. Fed up of the future. Most teenagers like sleep because well, they’re teenagers, but me, I like sleep because I don’t have to think about anything, or do anything, I can’t do anything wrong when I sleep.

At first, I thought I wanted to be a teacher, then it was a barrister, then a lawyer. Well I didn’t know out or barrister and lawyer, all I knew was that I wanted to work in law, but now I’m questioning that. You have to try so hard to work in law, get amazing grades and be very ‘good’. Then my brothers best friends step-dad said something on Sunday that really made me think. He said ‘If you’re a lawyer, would you be able to defend guilty people, try to win your case so that they can walk free and someone else who hasn’t done anything wrong gets put in jail?’. This really made me think, I don’t think I’d be able to do that actually, or want to. I spoke to my mum about it and her word were ‘you can’t let what one person says make you change your mind about your whole career’, now to me that sounds pretty reasonable but what he said really hit me. It’s actually really true and something I really need to consider, but as I said before, I don’t want to, I’m sick of considering things and planning. It’s future, future, future! What happens when there isn’t a future, huh? But you know what I’ve realised, I’m going to be planning for or thinking about the future until I die, and to be honest, that really scares me.

My mum also said I could be a lawyer for the state or something, where I prosecute guilty people or whatever. But I DON’T KNOW! What I’d actually really love to do is party plan. I’d love to be an events planner, it would be so much fun and from the person I am I think I’d love it. Then again I’d like to do a lot of things, to really live, not just survive. I’m so confused. But events planning doesn’t pay much and isn’t secure. Would I be able to deal with it? I don’t know. See what I mean? I need to think and have a plan, but at the moment, I just can’t, I just want to enjoy my childhood and do anything, just have fun, do whatever I want, whenever I want, but I don’t have that choice. If I don’t do well, I’m vulnerable and stepping into the unknown, which scares me, but maybe I should. Or should I just go with law, try as hard as I can and I succeed and then don’t enjoy it go to party planning with the choice for law still there if everything goes wrong? But then I’m going to spend what I have left of my childhood revising. URGH! I’m going to stop all of this now because I’m just confusing myself so much and just urgh! I don’t know what to do! Any ideas? Is it just me that’s thinking like this or do other people as well?
Jesus, I’m such a selfish person, but hardly anyone who reads this actually knows me anyway so….yeah, but I’m sorry. I’m just a mess at the moment, my whole life, and it’s not even just this. urgh. But maybe I’m just over reacting, I do that a lot, my family have been calling me a drama queen for as long as I can remember.

And calm Katie, I’m sorry I’ve just ranted on forever but that’s another thing I do, I rant and go on and on forever. Right, I’m going to go and have a shower and try to calm myself down a bit while life races around at 100 miles/hr. And if you’re wondering what brought this all on, you can blame it on the film ‘Elevator Girl’ which was just on. Sometimes certain things just trigger a whirlwind of emotions or thoughts or just anything. Or I just get really depressed… but no one needs to hear any of that 😀 they have enough to deal with. I have so many emotions and urgh, SHUT UP KATIE!

Have a nice rest of Tuesday everyone.
xx

Depression

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people that goes around depressed all the time, I’m usually quite hyper upbeat and happy. I am only human though and sometimes I do have really depressing days or evenings where I’m just…sad. It was during one of these sad moments when I thought of what I am about to write, so for anyone out there, here’s my…observation.

There is not a day when I look around and not see depression. I look around and it is everywhere. People are unhappy, distraught, broken hearted, and suicidal. Yes there is happiness, but that’s on the inside. You can look at someone and they appear to be happy, but when you really look, you look into their eyes you can see a pain, a pain that is not being expressed and that is the worst. People being upset and telling someone about it is hard enough to deal with but when you look in that persons eyes who you know is distraught on the inside but covers it up, that is the worst. So you see, sadness is everywhere, there may be some days when it goes away, but not for long, there will always be pain inside, pulling at you and never going away. Yes you can try to talk to someone, someone you trust and it may help a bit, they might be able to help you fix it, but not always. There is always someone that you know who is going through a tough time, has had something happen to them or is just depressed. There is never a minute when someone you know is not sad. Sad isn’t it?

So for anyone out there. There you go. Think about that.